I talk about art, design, and creativity
Whenever I crack open a new sketchbook, there’s a weird unspoken pressure to make the first page count.
Except that first page doesn’t matter to anyone except myself.
It’s silly, yeah.
But it’s real.
And the only way I get over my blank page dread is by making a few marks on the page.
Not every page has to be a masterpiece.
5 years ago, my answer would have been: product designer at a tech company (because I was an industrial design student in Toronto)
Today, I’d tell you my answer to that question is: I have no idea.
But that’s okay.
I’m not struggling to find my place in the world.
I just think the world is a lot more open than I thought it to be.
I was a quiet art kid.
From 2015-2020, I found my confidence when I went to an arts school.
Now I’m 3 years into social media marketing at a fast food restaurant, where I’m feeling at the top of my own game.
If I could go back to build my self confidence earlier,I would do this more often:
Listen to the way you talk about yourself to yourself.
If you don’t like the way you do self-talk, understand why, and change it.
For example,
What I say: Nobody cares about the writing I put out
My immediate response: There’s no point in writing something nobody wants to see
The change: Not everyone is supposed to care about what I write about. Actually, the success of my writing will stem from solely one person, which is myself. That’s it. If I can write about stuff that I care about, that’s enough.
Positive self talk is the smallest tweak that has made the largest impact on my self confidence.
Do I start my business today when I know nothing, or do I wait until I have enough experience?
Should I send those DMs or should I engage in comments instead?
Should I go back to school or spend time working?
Real estate or bitcoin?
Coffee or tea?
How do you know whether or not you’ve made a good choice?
The answer is straightforward.
You’ll only know after you’ve acted on your decision.
Hustle culture says: go go go!!
Reality is: I’m not feeling like it today
That’s okay.
We’re all human.
It does more good than harm to take a break when you require it.
Otherwise, when you’re ready to, there’s important work to be done. Work that requires your vision and care. Work that will make someone else’s life better because you did something.
I ran away, holding off tears.
Devastated that my “friends” were no longer my friends.
But rather than being sad, deep down I was actually relieved.
This was the 5 second moment when I realized, I no longer had to try to be someone else to fit in.
I didn’t have to be with the cool kids.
I didn’t have to rely on other people’s validation.
I could just be me.
P.S. The 11 year old me could never, so this post is for her.
You are your biggest critic.
Go figure.
And so?
If you want to flip the script, read on.
We have 2 choices.
1. We stay being the critic of our own lives, robbing ourselves of any self-kindness we could offer
Or,
2. We can learn to be our own biggest fans. Learn how to be okay with our shortcomings, be aware of our strengths and weaknesses, and offer ourselves words of encouragement every now and then
Let’s be real.
Living a life through criticism is hard.
Learning to flip the script and choose the latter option is also hard.
But when you are in your 20’s and see 70+ years ahead of you, becoming your own biggest fan suddenly seems like a no-brainer.
It’s not uncommon to hear creatives talk smack about their own work.
“It’s so ugly”
“I hate it”
“It’s not that good”
Sound familiar?
While that is the mindset norm for many designers and artists, tormenting yourself and your own work isn’t the healthiest way to succeed as a creative.
I admit, I used to tell myself all these things too.
“I suck at this”
“This looks so bad”
“Everyone’s going to hate it”
But one day, I realized I was actually making myself feel bad for trying something I had interest in.
In fact, I realized that negative voice in my head was actually the opinions from someone else who had previously made me feel insecure about my own work.
Here’s how I flipped my script.
I asked myself 3 simple questions:
For example,
By asking these 3 simple questions, we slow down our thinking process and dissect what is truly going on.
Try this out every day for 15 minutes and you’ll start to change the way you think too.
There are 3 parts to it.
On a piece of paper, write down
The last part is the magic.
For example,
Keep doing this every day and you’ll learn to rethink the way you talk with your inner critic.
If you gave yourself a chance to try something you haven’t done before, what would happen?
There are really only 2 possible outcomes:
The first one gives way for growth and learning (whether you win or lose it doesn’t matter because it’s within the short run).
On the other hand, the result of the second option is nothing. Nothing changes, nothing happens.
So the question remains.
What would you do if you gave yourself a chance to try something you haven’t done before?
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