It’s always a kind gesture to hold the door open for the person behind us. It’s not something we really think about, but more of an automatic behaviour that says, “I’m acknowledging your presence. Here you go.”
That acknowledgement is at times all it takes for somebody to feel welcome in a group Zoom meeting. Or the key for good customer experience when ordering food at a restaurant. Or the thing that makes or breaks a well-communicated email to your boss.
Being noticed and getting seen by the people we want to be seen by is huge, and it’s the simple act of acknowledgement.
Working with family is good when the family is willing and open to communication. It’s not so good when there’s personal baggage, grudge, greed, ego, and authority involved in the process.
But it’s still worth it to say that when it’s good, it’s great. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
When it’s bad, it feels like the rug has been pulled and we’re all falling into whatever lousy foundation we were standing on in the first place.
With where media sits with entrepreneurship, business, and founder culture as of late, it must be really great to be a business owner.
Except when reality plays out, it’s not all that dreamy and easy.
I’m not really sure where we’ll be in the future, but who’s to say for certain where we’ll be anyway?
At the end of it all, even without the business, we’ll still be family though sometimes even that’s hard to see when we’re so wrapped up in running the day to day operations together.
All of this is to say, I’m grateful for where my family’s hard work has been able to take us. Being part of our family business has been my 1 priority this pandemic, as it’s our main source of income keeping us afloat, and I’m glad it’s been a mostly constructive experience. Lastly, thank you to everyone who’s gone out of their way to support us. It means a lot and we really appreciate it.
One of my biggest vulnerabilities that can really get to me is when somebody tells me the three magic words, “I don’t care.”
It’s sharp yet blunt, and carries a weight like no other.
Maybe it’s because I care a lot.
Or because I have to be reminded that not everybody has time to appreciate the things I find incredible in this world.
To me, “I don’t care” is a really bad way to deal with emotion and feelings.
It’s a voice that holds a lack of love and curiosity and prefers to hide away instead.
Also a real lousy thing to say when somebody else is trying to talk with you in real time.
So how can we respond to I don’t care?
I don’t know.
We can’t control other people’s thoughts and feelings, but we can control our own. And what we should know, is that what other people say doesn’t really matter as long as we feel confident enough to stand our ground.
Feeling entitled to being right can come at a steep cost.
It comes at the cost of making others feel unneeded, unheard, and unnecessary, because whatever we say or do will be overwritten by somebody who feels the need to be right.
My name is Anna Peng and this is the current story of where I am.
I work in an Asian restaurant. It’s my family’s restaurant. It’s called Great Fountain Fast Food, and I’ve been spending my days there since I completed my graduation requirements late April this year.
It’s labour work. The shifts are long, and my entire body aches from standing. I barely pass for speaking Chinese, so I learn everything along the way.
I’ve had friends and strangers tell me I should take on a design related job while my degree is still fresh. They tell me I could do better.
However, to that I think do better than what? Better than helping my family run and grow what keeps a roof over our heads?
To be clear for my own reference, my own goal isn’t to do designey things and hold a design job title at a design agency just so my paper is put to its Bachelor-of-Design-use.
Instead my own goal is to:
Make sure my family is healthy
Be comfortable and confident with myself as a mild and reserved person in a speak-up-or-get-lost world
It’s going to be some sort of a journey, and if you’re reading this then thank you for allowing me to share this with you.
More importantly I want you to share your story with the people around you too, because more than ever we need more voices like yours to share more human-ness in the world.
Nice is holding the door for the person behind you as you walk through it. It’s giving someone a bouquet of flowers just because you feel like it. Or, checking up on friends every once in a while to see if they’re okay.
Why would nice be wrong?
When it comes to being nice, there’s no so that’s.
Being nice isn’t gifting somebody a box of chocolates so that you can consider it a rain check for a future favour. It’s not texting your colleague a “How are you?” so that you can ask them to buy your branded merch. It’s not talking up somebody so that they’ll like you and give you free gifts in return.
When it comes to being genuinely nice towards others, there shouldn’t be expectations for returns (otherwise it wouldn’t actually be nice).
We all have ideals of what’s supposed to be considered good.
A good lifestyle, good graphic design skills, a good diet, good taste, a good job, a good fashion sense, good morals, a good family, good driving, good presentations, good feedback, and the list could go on.
Everybody has a hot take. Oftentimes people will try to impose their good onto you when they fear their ideals are being challenged.
“I think you need to lose some weight” is someone else imposing their good sense of health onto you.
“I don’t think you should be spending your time watching Netflix shows” is someone else’s sense of productivity and time management.
“You should find a different job that pays more, you’ll be happier that way” is someone else’s idea of what a happy life could be.
The common theme amongst these statements is that they’re not alligned to what you believe. The response? Make it about them.
“I appreciate your sense of good health, tell me how you’re able to balance your work life and your healthy habits.”
“You have such masterful control of your life decisions. How do you do it?”
“I’m so amazed that you are able to live such a fulfilled life. How did you get there?”
Anna's Blog 